Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Iron Megan's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, April 17th, 2005
9:39 am	A few words..... Lately I've been thinking about were would I be or what would I be doing right now if I hadnt of let someone into my life and had them hold me back, like he did. I totally miss that person I used to be before I meet this person. Anyways (a quick catch up), I've been helping Robert out on thursday nights now at the What Bar, playing rock music all night. I love it. We've been having a blast every thursday night. I'm so happy that he asked me to do this with him. These days, I swear that Robert is the only friend I have and the only one who gives a damn about me!!!!!!!  I no I never update this thing, but once again I've got to cut it short because I gotta go out to Terrel to my grandparents and spend time with my little cousin. Check ya later. Current Mood: blah (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 25th, 2004
2:21 am	MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! (i wanna go back!!!) I cant beleive its Christmas already!!! I know this is wierd to say but last year on Christmas I had to work, and I really wish that this Christmas I would be doing the same thing! I had a feeling that I would be feeling as shitty as I do now on x-mas this year. So much shit going on in my life is messed up, it just really sucks!!! One thing that I could ask for Christmas is that "I wanna go back" and that is all I need!! I miss having a home to go home to, like my parents house to go to expecially for Christmas. I feel so bad for my poor mother!!! All of the shit she is going through is killing me!!! I hate that she has no home for Christmas, and this being her first X-MAS after losing her little sister, and thats not even all of it!!! I hate to see my mother surfering, stuggling, and hurting like this!!!!! But just like everthing else thats what come with being a "Bolin" (and that is the truth)!!!! I dont even want to go on about the shit with me!! But on a lighter note (in the words of Matthew McConaughey) I'm still livin, L-I-V-I-N!!!! check ya later, Megan   Current Mood: depressed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, October 15th, 2004
12:37 pm	A Much Needed Update.... Man it has been forever since i've updated my journal. But of course there hasnt been a whole lot going on with me to write about. I recently moved, and it sucked. Moving from the 3rd floor from our old apt., back up to the 3rd floor to our new apt. I'm still tryin to adjust to this new place. I really dont dig it all that much but it is a bigger apartment though. Well, I'm finally 21 now! And I had a pretty crappy birthday. I was real depressed, and didnt feel like doing anything that night. You know my sister always said how she couldnt wait until i'm 21, so we can go out and party. The funny thing is that since I've been 21, I havent gone out at all. And lately, I have just been trying to figure out what it is that i'm going to do with myself. I need my Big Break!! Ok, sorry so short but i'm tired of typing now. Later, Megan Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: Weezer "Say It Aint So" (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 31st, 2004
6:54 pm	It's been awhile... Man, it really has been a long time since i've updated my journal, and thats because not a damn thing new or different is going with me. It sucks too. Lately, I have just been depressed as hell, and its not just one thing causing me to feel this way, it's every thing really!!! Having NO money whats so every is really putting a huge amount of stress on me. Not being able to afford anything sucks! I haven't been getting to any hours at work, and finding a new job has not gone well either!!! So, since I have no money, going out is out of the question. When The Eagle was still here it was ok, because where I would work was where I would like to hang out at. So i've been feeling like a loser with no life lately!! I still find myself crying everyday, because I miss my Aunt Sandra soooooo bad!!!! I swear it's still not real to me! I mean she died at the end of April, and it still has not kicked in to me that she's gone, or I just dont want to believe it!!! I miss her more than anything, and I would give back or do anything in this world just to see or have her back!!!!!!! And I still can't sleep good because theres not a night that goes by that I dont have dreams about her!!!!  Plus, I miss my friends bad!!!!! Ya'll know who ya'll are!!!! Things really have sucked for me since my world changed!!!   Anyways, I guess i'll stop my complaining for now, but of course theres nothing new going on with my life, but I needed to update my journal. Keep on Rockin!!!   Iron Megan    Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Doug Stone (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 22nd, 2004
4:25 pm	Job Hunting Ever since the Eagle has gone off air, and I've been working with another station, I have been very unhappy! I swear everytime I have to go to work i'm completly miserable! So I have been looking for a new job lately. But the only problem with getting a new job is that i am scared to death about it. I know its part of life and growing up but it's hard for me. When I started at clear channel, I pretty much just came right out of high school. I went to Dallas Sound Lab, but that class was only eleven weeks long, and I started clear channel when I was still at DSL. So starting my first real job, I was the baby and I was kind of takin under someone I worked with wing and showed me all I needed to know with that company, and got taking care of. Then I branched out through different departments till out found out what it was I wanted to do there. Plus the people I worked with were my second family and that helped out a great deal too. I've always told myself that I never want to grow up, and now that I have to i'm scared as hell!!!   Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: Gretchen Wilson "Pocahontas Proud" (Comment on this)
Monday, July 5th, 2004
8:35 pm	THINGS I MISS!!!!!!!! Lately I have really been noticing how bad the things that are missing and that were taken away from my life are really bringing me down!!! Well first of all I am missing my Aunt Sandra more and more every day!! Its not the same without her. When my family gets all together now its very sad. My grandparents havent really slept since shes been gone and they really dont talk much anymore. I hate this!! I want here back!! Second, I miss my second family that was taken away from me. My family at the Eagle. Also I even miss doing my overnights on the weekends boardoping. I never thought I would say that, but work wise I really miss doing that a lot!!! Seriously, my list can go on and on, but bring it all up isnt gonna bring anything back to me. This really sucks too!!!!!! Megan   Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: Zac Malloy "Early Morning Phone Call" (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 13th, 2004
1:23 am	cont... Music has always been my life, and I have always used song lyrics to say what I really mean and how I really feel about something. I know I do this a lot but songs have always said it best for me!!!!! And heres a song that totally expresses how I am feeling now!!! Faith Hill - Let Me Let Go I thought it was over, baby We said our goodbyes But I can't go a day without your face Goin' through my mind In fact, not a single minute Passes without you in it Your voice, your touch, memories of your love Are with me all of the times Let me let go, baby Let me let go If this is for the best, why are you still in my heart Are you still in my soul, let me let go I talked to you the other day Looks like you made your escape You put us behind, no matter how I try I can't do the same Let me let go, baby Let me let go It just isn't right, I've been two thousand miles Down a dead-end road Let me let go, darlin', won't you I just gotta know, yeah If this is for the best, why are you still in my heart Are you still in my soul, let me let go The lights of this strange city are shinin' But they don't hold no fascination for me I try to find the bright side, baby But everywhere I look, everywhere I turn, you're all I see Let me, let me let go, won't you Let me let go It just isn't right, I've been two thousand miles Down a dead-end road Oh, let me let go, darlin', won't you I just gotta know If this is for the best, why are you still in my heart Yeah, you're still in my soul, let me let go Let me let go, let me let go (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 12th, 2004
11:48 pm	My first heart break!!! I know how pathetic everyone thinks I am right now, but this is the only place I feel like I cant get all of the things on my mind out. Im 20 years old and just know im experiencing all of this. I swear this has got to be the hardest thing I have had to go through. And believe you me I havent had the easiest life, and because of that, I had no other choice but to become independate and rely on nobody (because I really didnt have anybody) but myself!!! So when I first started seeing this person, of course I had to be the tough, independant Megan, who doesnt need a guy to get by. Well he always told me that he would break through the tough, hard Megan, and I would always tell him that would be impossible. And of course he did. Nobody has ever been able to do that, and ever since he did for once in my I knew what it felt like to have someone love me like that. He was the first guy I have ever been on a date with, the first guy I have ever been serious with, the first guy I have ever expressed my feelings to, and most importantly he was the first guy I ever gave my heart to!!!! He even got me to say the "L" word! I never thought that I would see the day when me, Megan Bolin would say the "L" word to a guy. But I did. He showed me how to love and what love was. I was in love for the first time in my life and it was great!! But this whole time I was scared out of my mind!!! I had no idea what I was doing. I have never felt so strongly for someone in my life and that scared the hell out of me!!! FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I WAS ACTUALLY HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Him and I were practically living together. That was another first for me! Being the loner I have always been, I got use to sleeping by myself. At first it was hard for me but now I cant sleep without him!!!!!!!!!!!! Since, him and I worked together I was afraid to let anyone know just how serious we were because I didnt want our relationship and work interfear in any way!!! And for almost a year and a half we were together, I was happy in love!!!!!!!!  He made me feel like I the only girl in the world!!! I have never had someone look me in the eyes and tell me the things that he would tell me!!! I would never admit this, but I really thought we would be together forever! As corny as that sounds, but I really wasnt intrested in anyone else. Yeah everyone might say I flirted a lot but so did he and I was cool with that because I knew he was coming home to me and I was going home to him!!!!!!!!!!!!   Since he has left me for someone else, I really havent been doing good at all!! - I havent been able to sleep without him, and I have no desire to sleep because I know that when I get in bed, i'll just cry instead of sleeping, - I have no appitite whats so ever, I havent eaten a full meal in about 3 weeks now, - I have been smoking a whole lot more and my asthma is getting really bad, - All I want to do is call him. I swear stoping myself from picking up the phone or text messaging him is killing me!! - I cant stop crying. This ist me!!! Megan Bolin would never cry over a boy!! And just knowing that it took him literally no time at all to get over me and already move on, is killing me more than anything!!!!!!! And what really hurts is that I must of not meant much to him, to already be able to move on and be over me (and supposable already in love again), and I dont know how im going to get over him and moving on and finding someone else is the last thing on my mind!!!!!!!!! And since we work together is soooo freakin hard!! I made him my life pretty much and I was happy with it that way!!! I didnt need or want anyone else but him!!! I dont have any side friends, or just a life outside of work!!  It just breaks my heart because im home crying over him and I know that he could seriously care less about me now and how I feel and how he treated me and broke my heart!!!!!!!!!! The only thing I want is to be with him!! I know how pathetic I'm sounding but I really could care less!! I just really would like it if I were just to disapear!!! And I seriously believe that by me doing so, it wouldnt have a big effect on anyone's life!! So it wouldnt be that bad. I JUST WOULD LIKE TO BE HAPPY AGAIN!!! andrea megan p.s...   and I really miss my Aunt Sandra bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Current Mood: sad Current Music: jason boland "proud souls" & journey -lovin,touchin,squeezin (Comment on this)
1:09 am	I just dont understand some people!!! The kind of people that i'm talking about is the ones who have been babied their whole life and they think that it's ok for them to treat people however they want, but dont you dare mistreat them. I have failed myself. I say that because I have always told myself that I would never let myself get too close, or I would never let myself get hurt. Well, I'm the dumbass here! Anytime I have let someone in or get too close, they either ended up beating me, or dying, or walk out of my life completely!!!!! Thats why I am the way I am, as far as not letting people get too close to me. Well, stupid me has to go and contradict herself by doing exactly what I did not want to do or even plan to do. When I was 8 years old, I bought my very first cassette tape "Whitesnake"!!! The reason I wanted that tape was because of the lyrics to this one song meant so much to me, and just being 8 years old at the time, I could and always relate with this song!!!! And even to this day I still can relate and live by this song!!!! And I will always (even till the day I die) live by this song!!!! WHITESNAKE "HERE I GO AGAIN" I don't know where I'm going But, I sure know where I've been Hanging on the promises In songs of yesterday An' I've made up my mind I ain't wasting no more time But, here I go again Here I go again Tho' I keep searching for an answer I never seem to find what I'm looking for Oh Lord, I pray You give me strength to carry on Cos I know what it means To walk along the lonely street of dreams An' here I go again on my own Goin' down the only road i've ever known Like a drifter I was born to walk alone An I've made up my mind I ain't wasting no more time I'm just another heart in need of rescue Waiting on love's sweet charity An' I'm gonna hold on For the rest of my days Cos I know what it means To walk along the lonely street of dreams An' here I go again on my own Going down the only road I've ever known Like a drifter I was born to walk alone An' I've made up my mind I ain't wasting no more time But here I go again Here I go again Here I go again Here I go again Cos I know what it means To walk along the lonely street of dreams An' here I go again on my own Going down the only road I've ever kown Like a drifter I was born to walk alone An' I've made up my mind I ain't wasting no more time An' here I go again on my own Going down the only road I've ever known Like a drifter I was born to walk alone Cos I know what it means To walk along the lonely street of dreams Current Mood: restless Current Music: Pantera "THIS LOVE" & Whitesnake "Here I Go Again" (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 9th, 2004
3:31 pm	Whats Next???!!! You know yesterday I was doing ok, but today I'm not doing so good. I woke up depressed as hell!!! And last night one more thing had to happend, just to add to all of the shit going wrong in my life!! My car started smoking, for what reason, I have no clue. So I am car-less right now. All weekend I have been listening to the same song over and over again, because the lyrics in this song says exactly word for word how I have been feeling!!!! Aerosmith "What It Takes"   There goes my old girlfriend There's another diamond ring And, uh, all those late night promises I guess they don't mean a thing So baby, what's the story? Did you find another man? Is it easy to sleep in the bed that we made? When you don't look back I guess the feelings start to fade away I used feel your fire But now it's cold inside And you're back on the street Like you didn't miss a beat, yeah Tell me what it takes to let you go Tell me how the pain's supposed to go Tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night Without thinkin' you lost everything that was good in your life to the toss of the dice? Tell me what it takes to let you go Yeah Girl, before I met you I was F-I-N-E fine But your love made me a prisoner Yeah, my heart's been doin' time You spent me up like money And then you hung me out to dry It was easy to keep all your lies in disguise 'Cause you had me in deep with the devil in your eyes Tell me what it takes to let you go Tell me how the pain's supposed to go Tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night Without thinking you lost everything that was good in your life to the toss of the dice? Tell what it takes to let you go Guitar! Tell that you're happy that you're on your own, yeah, yeah, yeah Tell me that it's better when you're all alone Tell me that your body doesn't miss my touch Tell me that my lovin' didn't mean that much Tell me you ain't dyin' when you're cryin' for me Tell me what it takes to let you go Tell me how the pain's supposed to go Tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night Without thinking you lost everything that was good in your life to the toss of the dice? Tell me who's to blame for thinkin' twice No, no, no, no 'cause I don't wanna burn in paradise Ooo, let go, let go, let go, I don't wanna burn in paradise Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go I don't wanna burn, I don't wanna burn Current Mood: depressed Current Music: "What It Takes" & Alanis Morissette "You Oughta Know" (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 5th, 2004
5:27 am	BROKEN HEARTED!!!!! So while last week I was dealing with the death of my Aunt, and Pete didn't call me or seemed one bit concerned about me, I know why. Let's keep in mind that Pete is the guy who I have been together with for over a year now, and last week he became a totaly different person who I didnt even know. So while I have been in bed cry for the past week over my Aunt and over him, Pete has been sleeping around on me. It's apparent that I didnt mean shit to him because he really got over me really fucking fast!!! He hurt my self-estem really, really bad, because he went from being with me for almost a year and a half to shacking up with her I just dont understand. I guess I just have to much class. I dont understand it? He could of gave two shits about my Aunt passing away (which my Aunt Sandra loved Pete). He just completly became a different person, when he knew I needed him the most!!!! This is just so unlike him!!! It's totally beyond me? The way I found all of this out was: * Monday he came into work with a huge hicky on his neck. He tryed to lie to me about it, but I finally got the truth out of him. * THEN HE TOLD ME EVERYTHING!! * AND WHAT KILLS ME THE MOST IS THAT I KNOW THIS GIRL, SHE SOMEWHAT WORKS WITH US ** AND HE ALSO TOLD ME THAT THE TWO OF THEM HAVE BEEN TALKING FOR AWHILE... This is my first broken heart. And what Pete has done to me has tore me in two!!! This is one of the most cruelest things to do to another human being!! I dont understand how someone I thought I knew could be sooooooo COLD BLOODED??????? I swear I just wanted to die!!! He is my first love! I SWEAR, ANY OTHER TIME IN THE WORLD TO DO THIS TO ME WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT BETTER THAN RIGHT WHEN MY AUNT DIES!!! I SWEAR JUST ONE FUCKING THING AFTER ANOTHER!!! I SERIOUSLY, HONESTLY, TRUTHFULLY JUST CANT TAKE ANYMORE!!! IF ONE MORE BAD THING HAPPENDS TO ME, I DONT KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO??!! I think I really losing it this time!!!!!!!!! megan Current Mood: depressed Current Music: KID ROCK "ONLY GOD KNOWS WHY" (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 29th, 2004
3:46 am	ONE SHITY WEEK!!!!!!!!!! No joke, this has been one shity week for me!!!! One thing that really fucking sucks about going through the death of my aunt is that the one person who I thought would be here for me, the person who I have been seeing for over a year now, "Pete" is not!!!! Yes, of course I have my family, but we are all going through this together, and it would just be nice to have some one outside of my family to talk to about this! Pete and I have been seeing eachother for a long time now and he even knew my aunt and she loved him too. My Aunt Sandra thought he was so cute and she always joked around with me by telling me that she was going to steal him away from me (and he would joke around about this too), and he liked going over there. So you would figure that he would be here for me when I needed him, you think. And when his good friend Kelly died, he would always tell me how I was there for him more than his girlfriend who he was living with at the time was. I guess its not hard to see who actually has an heart here now is it. Well, since Tuesday morning when I have found out, till now, I have not recieved one phone call or even a text message from him just seeing if I am ok or just anything like that. Tuesday night when I was on my way home from my Aunt Sandra's house, I called him to see if he would come over because I dont want to be alone right now, and the response I got from him (and of course he was drunk like always) was well I'm already half way home, and he had tryed to be with me all day but I was with my family and he's not going to jump when I say. Now, I dont understand how that was in any way telling him to jump when I say, I just thought that was just being there for some one when they need them. Call Me Crazy? I am still scared to be by myself because while we at the hospital and after my Aunt had already passed away, the hospital let us see her before they took her off to get an autopsy (im not sure how its spelled). So I am still freaked out about this whole thing and just really dont feel like being alone. And my sister has Jeff, and my best friend is 4 hours away, so this really sucks!!!! I never want to talk to him again because this hurts more than anything. And I really hate the way he has treated me through all of this!!! And just being the person that I am, I know that I could never do this someone, even my worst enemy, and expecially to someone I care about!! Andrea Megan (Bird) Current Mood: sad Current Music: Mercy Me "I Could Only Imagine" (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 28th, 2004
2:21 pm	Yesterday (April 27, 2004) was I day I never thought would happend!!! Yesterday morning my phone rings about 10:15am and I see it was my mom doing her normal call to make sure i'm up for work. So I answered it expecting to hear her say the same the she says almost every morning. So when I said "hello" I mom was crying and going crazy telling me to come pick her up cause we have to go to Kaufman because my Aunt Sandra (who is my mom's sister) has just had a massive heart attack. So I get up in a hurry and forget my wallet w/ my licese in it and go get her and hall ass to Kaufman, going 90 the whole way there. When we got there I wasn't expecting the news I had got when I got there. My Aunt Sandra, the woman who said I look exactly like her, the woman who made sure she was the person who took me to one place her and I were going to make it big at, the person who always picked up my sister and me when my parents were fighting, the person who I have totally matching, identicall feet with, the person who was always worried about my health and made sure I always made sure I went to the doctor, the woman who was with me when I started my period, the one person who made sure I went to every concert I wanted to go to and who took me to every one, the one person in my family who always told me I was beautifull (because I looked like her), and the person who would look at my face and tell me there was nothing wrong with it and that she sees nothing because she knew how I hated my face and I always tried to hide it, the only person I knew who would call you and make sure everyone knew it was her birthday and made sure you said it to her (that was kind of her trayed mark), and the one person who would always get excited when I came over, and the one person who I knew she really meant it when she would tell me she was so proud of me, and the person who wanted to be my mother when my mother wasnt there, died yesterday. My family on my mom's side is the only family that I have ever had, and we are all extremly close. My grandma, my mom, and my two aunts Sandra and Kathy, were all a mother to my sister and me. This is the second person in my family who I am extremly close has died. But this is my first blood relative who I am extremly close to die. My aunt Sandra is my mom's younger sister. My mom is the oldest, then it's Sandra, then the only boy Mike, then my aunt Kathy. My cousins Casy and Courtney are Sandra's kids. Casy is 26 and goes to law school at Texas Tech. Courtney is 20 (the same age as me) and she goes to school in San Marcus. Casey and I used to be real close but as he got older he turn to politics and so now him and I have totally different views and opinions, but we know just to aviod that subject when were together, and him and I have always been like brother and sister to eachother. Courtney and I have always been sisters. When we were younger we told everybody that we were twin sisters because we looked a lot alike, we both had ling brown hair to our ass and we are the same age and Sandra would always make us dress a like. Not only were Courtney and I cousins and sisters, we have always been best friends. All through middle school and high school we were inseprable. Courtney and I are only 4 months apart. Her birthday is in June and my birthday is in September. So were the same age but she was a grade before me. Courtney's senior year in high school was kind of rough on her because her dad just moved to Crandal and Sandra moved to Terrel. And with it being her last year in high school she didnt want to leave. So she leaved with me her whole senior year. Her high school and mine were huge rivalries in Mesquite, but I lived in her schools district, it was easier for her just to live with me until she graduated. Courtney and I got along good during that time. And on nights when we didnt have school we would go stay with Sandra in Terrel. Yesterday was a day I thought would never happend. Yesterday was the worst day of my family's life. I had just talked to Sandra the other day and this just does not seem to be real. I love my Aunt Sandra with all my heart!! I love her so much it hurts!!!!!!! Nobody in my family wants to go on without her. We dont know what we are going to do!!! My grandma keeps saying she doesnt want to live without her, and my mom keeps saying that it should of been her. I dont want to live without anybody in my family, so I wish it would of been me intead of Sandra!!!!! I will miss her more than anything in this world!! She will now be with my Uncle Ken, and I hope he takes care of her!! Andrea Megan Bolin Current Mood: angry Current Music: Tim McGraw "The Cowboy in Me" (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 25th, 2004
5:09 pm	You are a True Metalhead. You dig the classic music and the classic lifestyle. As metalheads go, you're pretty open-minded in terms of music and lyrics; if it rocks, then you'll listen to it. Concerts are the pinnacle of the metal experience, though sometimes they get a little too crazy. You generally respect everybody else, but as far as you're concerned, they all wish they were Priest or Maiden. What Kind of Metalhead Are You? brought to you by Quizilla (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 19th, 2004
12:51 am	I'M VERY THANKFUL!!!!!!! I'm gonna make this short and sweet, because every time I have tried to udate my journal I get kicked off line. I'm sure everyone knows how much my grandparents mean to me, I love them more than life it self!! Well, I knew that my grandpa was having surgery on the 17, but what I didn't know was how serious it was. Sunday morning, my mom informed me that all but on of the arteries in his heart had shut down, and the one that was still pumping was bearlly flowing any blood. The doctor had told him that he could try getting surgery but there was a 90% chance that he would live trough it. But if my Papa didn't get the surgery, they said that he would have a heart atack soon and die. So Tuesday morning I was at the hospital at 7am, and what had scared my family and me was that the doctor had told my grandparents that they still can back out of this, because they didn't think that he would make it through, but they went ahead with it. So, from 7am - 4pm the doctor finally came out with a smile on his face, and said that everything went good. He told us how he was even surprised how good things went. I got to go see him right after he was through with the surgery. My Papa is still in ICU, but they said the he'll be ok. Since Sunday I have been with my Papa, and since Tuesday morning I have pretty much been at the hospital with my family. My Ninny and Papa (my grandparents) are pretty much my parents, and they have done everything for me! I know if something were to happen to either one of them, I would just die!!! There's nothing in this world that I wouldn't do for them!!!! They are my world!!!!!! And today is the big day!!!!!!! Megan Current Mood: thankful Current Music: Kid Rock (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 14th, 2004
1:32 am	YAWN!!!! Man, I am so freakin tired!!! I swear this is gonna be one hell of a weekend! I've gotta work Friday - Sunday, all day. I'm not bitchin or anything, but I know that i'm gonna be so freakin exausted and I know that I will get sick as hell if I dont sleep, which I know I wont get much of. How I know I'll get sick is because I have a disease called Fibromyilga and Chronic Fatigue Syndrom and if I dont get rest I get real sick. And honestly, I am so not looking forward to not sleeping.  Ok I'll start with Friday: I had to work the S & M show from 3-7pm, then I have to be back at the station at midnight. Saturday: I have to boardop midnight- to 6am, then I have to be back up here at 10am for The Get Laid Rock Raid show that I am really lookin forward to. I will get off from the concert about 11pm. Then I got to be back at the station by midnight. Sunday: I'm boardoping midnight to 6am. When I get off at 6am I will finally get to sleep a bit. Then I have got be back to work at 6pm for the Local Show. I know that by the end of this weekend I am gonna be dead. On a better note, guess whats commin up next week? KID ROCK!!!! Nobody knows how freaking excited I am to go to his concert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways, I'm gonna get back to work, so I'll check ya later. Rock On!! Megan  Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: KID ROCK & Limp Bizkit "Break Stuff" (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 1st, 2004
5:23 am	And The Countdown Begins!!! Hell Yeah!! I can not fuckin wait!! Just 19 days to go... This is like the main show I have wanted to go to working with The Eagle!!! Nobody knows how freakin excited I am!!!! Anyways, so today is Super Bowl Day, and I am not a fan of football and I hope I wont be forced to watch it! So not much has really been goin on with me here lately. My best friend Andrea's step-grandpa (if thats what you call it) died last week. I was pretty sad because I am really close to her family, and she is the same with mine. And I had grown close with him in the 5 years that I have known him. Andrea's grandma had married this man, who she was friends with for years before, after her first husband died a long time ago. He was a funny old man. I remember back in high school when they would come and visit, he would always yell at Andrea and me for getting into his beer. Also, I remember at their family reunions, he and I would always get so competitive playing Bingo, and he and I were the only two there that werent really family. Anyways, I have been tryin to help out Andrea's mom lately, since Andrea is away at school. I feel bad for her mom (who is also my mom) because she is taking care of her mother and still trying to take care of her two little ones. So I have been trying to help her with Andrea's little brothers Patrick and Paul (twins in their first year of high school), just really driving them were they need to go and stuff. So i'm gonna end this now because my ass is now leaving work and going home!!! Love Ya'll and be good!!! Kid Rock Rules!!! Andrea "Iron" Megan Bolin Current Mood: excited Current Music: Kid Rock "Devil Without a Cause" (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 25th, 2004
6:42 am	HELL YEAH!!!! You are Iron Megan! You promote all that is local music. You love your sleep and love to party after work. You are determined to learn as much as you can about radio. Always helps out with a smile! Which Local Show Crew Person Are You? brought to you by Quizilla This quiz is the greatest! It matched me perfectly! That character on my results sounds like a cool chick!! Current Mood: happy Current Music: Kid Rock "You Never Meet A MotherFucker Quit Like Me" (Comment on this)
Friday, January 23rd, 2004
12:58 pm	Kid Rock sings my life!!! Never in my life have I ever heard a song that realates to my life perfectly, and music has always been what I revolve my life around. Kid Rock's song "Only God Knows Why" is word for word my life and what I have been through!! No Joke!! "Only God Knows Why" I've been sittin' here trying to find myself i get behind myself i need to rewind myself looking for the payback listen for the playback they say that every man bleeds just like me and i feel like number one but yet i'm last in line i watch my younger son and it helps to pass the time i take to many pills it helps to ease the pain i made a couple dollar bills but still i feel the same everybody knows my name they say it way out loud a lot of folks fuck with me it's hard to hang out in crowds i guess that's the price you pay to be some big shot like i am out stretched hands and one night stands still i can't find love And when your walls come tumbling down I will always be around People don't know about the things i say and do they don't understand about the shit that i've been through, it's been so long since i've been home i've been gone, i've been gone for way too long maybe i forgot all the things I miss Oh somehow I know there's more to life than this, I said it too many times and i still stand firm you get what you put in and people get what they deserve, still i ain't seen mine No I ain't seen mine I've been giving just ain't been gettin' I've been walking down that line So I think I'll keep walking with my head held high i'll keep moving on and only God knows why Only God... only God Only God knows why Only God... knows ... why, why, why only God knows why Take me to the river hey Take me to the river   For awhile I've been dealing with this certain issue. And when I got Kid's new cd, I wasn't shocked to find a song that talks about my certain issue perfectly!!! "Cold and Empty" Maybe I've been on the road too long Livin' my life through these songs I guess lovin a music man Really wasn't in your plans Does it matter it I'm sorry again And why should I apologize You knew all along this was my life You know my ins and outs All of my fears and doubts It's the life I love But it's you I can't live without And this whole world seems cold and empty Someone please turn on the light Lord if there's an angel you could send me I could use one here tonight Now where am I supposed to go My only home was in your soul I know that I can't stay here And drown in a pool of tears Should I pack my pride And face this life alone And this whole world seems cold and empty Someone please turn on the light Lord if there's an angel you could send me I could use one here tonight Maybe it's me who's cold and empty And in my darkness I cannot see the light Please God if there's an angel you could send me 'Cause there's one missin' from my life You are my heart, you are my soul Wherever you are that's where I go You know my ins and outs All of my fears and doubts It's the life I love But it's you I can't live without Yea it's the life I love But it's you I can't live without Baby it's the life I love But it's you I can't live without The life I love The life I love But it's you I can't live without   I guess this just goes to show why I love Kid Rock so much. Either I can realate with his music, or the songs just kick ass. I also love his total image. A red-kneck fucker not givin a fuck!!!! Rock On!!! "Iron" Megan Bolin  Current Mood: good Current Music: Kid Rock "Prodigal Son" (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 17th, 2004
8:36 am	also, something else thats bothering me!!!!!!! For some strange reason, I have no clue why, here lately I have been thinking about my step-dad. I really dont know why. My step-dad (Brian) has been in my life even before my real dad died, and that has been since I was about 2 years old. Anyways, I haven't seen him in about a year. The last time I had talked to him was not on good terms and I was away with work out at T.M.S. and that was back in March 2003. So it has almost been a year since I have spoke to him. Right now, I dont know if he is alive or dead, or where he may be. Strangly, I truely, honestly have no idea why he has been on my mind, and it is really bothering the hell out of me!!!!!!!!!!!! later Megan (KID ROCK ROCKS!!!) (1 Comment |Comment on this)